Are you “re-acting” from gratitude, love, & trust or doubt & fear?
As human beings, we operate daily reflecting a wide range of emotions with a multitude of motivations fueling our behaviors. All too often, we react emotionally to what others say or do. If our reactions are preceded by the emotions of fear, anger, or sadness, we forfeit our ability to act with personal power & effectiveness in lieu of a knee-jerk response. This reaction is all too often sourced in fear & low self-esteem. We may focus on what’s wrong with us & our lives, fear being controlled, hurt, or taken advantage of. We may overlook the many things we have in our lives for which we should rightly be grateful, doubt our ability to thrive & access the abundance we see all around us in the world, reacting instead from the concern of scarcity & the expectation of failure, hurt, & disappointment. We may see ourselves in competition for the world’s resources & the love & attention of others rather than realizing that there is more than enough of all that is good to go around. We forget that we manifest what we expect.
What happens when two or more individuals see themselves as not good enough?
Whenever we forget that we are magnificent beings & that there is plenty of wealth, happiness, fun, & fulfillment to go around, we might feel the need to protect ourselves from what we perceive to be a dangerous world. We likewise tend to forget that others operate from the same lacking self-confidence, scarcity of gratitude, & deficient self-love that we often do. So, whenever two or more individuals see themselves as not good enough to tap into the world’s abundance & get all their needs met from a physical, social, mental, & emotional perspective, conflicts are likely to arise. The result is broken relationships, strained communication, emotional pain, struggle, & suffering. All of these are needless & optional for those who realize their ability to detach from the struggle & master their emotional response.
How to break the vicious circle
When we stop to realize that everyone else suffers from the same self-doubt & fear of being dominated & cheated out of getting their fair share of love, fun, money, possessions, & security, we can break the vicious cycle of endless competition & continual striving for domination. We can realize that cooperation & communication is more effective in producing harmony than competition & a focus on self-interest based on fear. We can intentionally choose to trust that others are doing the best they know how to do based upon how they see the world. We can assume that they act from good intentions, even when we fear the opposite. We can hold them as worthy, competent, loving, good natured & capable of creating win-win relationships rather than fearing them as hateful, ill meaning, incompetent, unworthy, selfish opponents.
Champion this
When we decide to champion others by looking for the best in them & interact with them out of an attitude of gratitude for their gifts, strengths, & positive qualities, in such a manner that they are clear that we hold them as intrinsically good & worthy of our love & respect, we provide for them a new & exciting opportunity for them to show up for us in this manner. Our decision to hold others as great (because they really are when we strip away their anger, fears, & insecurities) allows them the freedom to rise to our expectations. By operating from love & gratitude for the wisdom & empathy we develop as a result of our interactions with others, we see their mistakes as temporary indiscretions producing valuable lessons from which to learn & grow rather than reflections of a fundamentally defective being.
Key to bring out the best
The key to bringing out the best in others is non-attachment. When we realize that we have total control over our response to any situation, & we give up our right to be invalidated by others or control them, we will possess a newfound freedom that allows us to exit the drama of conflict in favor of understanding, compassion, & love. Decide now to be grateful for the challenges you will encounter in your life & business. See the problems that arise as opportunities for your personal development. Look for these challenges as you go about your day, be grateful when you encounter them, & seek out the gifts awaiting your discovery.
Exercise for Expanding Gratitude & Shifting Your Reactive Nature
1) List all the things you have decided to be grateful for in your life & business.
2) In your daily journal, record each time you fail to express gratitude for a challenging situation.
3) Catch yourself reacting emotionally to what someone says or does & shift your perception in that moment to appreciate the learning experience at hand.
4) In your daily life & business, who are you not holding as magnificent?
5) How can you champion their excellence & express gratitude for the opportunity to grow in love & wisdom that they are gifting you instead of reacting with anger, sadness, or fear?
6) Who are you seeking to control or avoid being controlled by? Will you take on the practice of non-attachment in your relationship with them by creating space for them to be who they are?
Do this for 30 days & record in your journal how your interactions with them evolve. Make note of something that you can be grateful for in each situation.
Here’s your complimentary audio program entitled “7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem” & a free 1 year membership in The Success Achievers’ Club ($129 value).
Dr. Joe Rubino
Bestselling Author • Life Changing, Life Optimization & Business Coach
Follow me @drjoerubino
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